Neo-Feminism, Retro-Sexism and Biological Determinism: Who Should Really do the Washing Up?

HeForShe_Logo_Badge_withTagline_Use_On_WhiteNeo-Feminism: A Movement without Gender Boundaries

All round the world women have been getting their ‘knickers in a twist’. It seems impossible to turn on a television or surf the internet these days, without seeing a woman receiving a Nobel prize, or speaking out at the U.N about the difficulties still being faced by the fairer sex just because they have a vagina. It would appear that allowing them to vote and drive cars was not enough to placate their lofty ambition, they’re more motivated than we first thought, they’re after more and they’re not beyond using dirty tricks to get what they want. The neo-feminist is the most highly functioning female we have seen to date, capable of holding rational arguments, sustaining common sense and reason for extended periods of time. Whereas a generation ago they were appeased when we let them vent, burn their bras and then told them to calm down by making a cup of tea, today the neo-feminists  are digging their heels in, high heels and for the long haul.
If we men are to retain our already fragile status as top dog we must evaluate this threat and deal with it seriously, impromptu foot massages, compliments regarding their choice of clothing, even suggesting it would be nice to watch Downton Abbey may be necessary if we’re to withstand this latest onslaught. We will have to dig deep into the bag of tricks that has been passed on from father to son, go through the full repertoire, if social order is to be maintained.
I remember feminism from one or two prickly encounters at university during the 90’s. For the most part feminists were just aggressive lesbians, with short cropped hair, wearing Doc Marten boots and had a chin like Desperate Dan. Opening a door for a woman at university was a hazardous act of chivalry for which the knight may have often been better off throwing himself on his sword instead. The feminists of the 90’’s did for feminism much the same as what the Taliban did for Islam. The 90’s feminist ultimately sought to promote her cause by acting more like a man, than a man. 90’s feminism led to the phenomena we commonly referred to as “chicks with dicks”. Chicks with dicks were women who had shrugged off the shackles of femininity, women with better careers than men, drank more beer than men, swore more than men, could belch more verses of the national anthem than men and who understood the offside rule in football. Sometimes, at a first glance, they could appear quite attractive, but fifteen minutes and 3 pints later they would have the charisma, charm and feminism of Margaret Thatcher. It was for such circumstances I moved to South East Asia.

Like the most untrustworthy shape shifter, feminism today has morphed and re-branded itself, in the shape of Hermione Granger, Malala Yousufzai, and Jean Luc Picard. Feminists today include men, this disturbing image was taken outside a supermarket and clearly shows a disoriented and confused old man, his mind addled, under the influence of some heinous psychotropic drug, holding a placard he probably can’t even read.

Whilst picking up supplies for the Enterprise, Captain Picard finds the time to fight for women’s rights.
The Ministry of Magic send Hermione Granger to the U.N.











These feminists pose an entirely new challenge, not only have the brainwashed vulnerable old men  but they are educated, lucid, and armed with questions forged out of common sense and tempered by logic, but I’ll be damned if I’m going to do the wash the dishes without putting up a fight.

Fighting the Misogyny Within

It’s so predictable to blame sexism and misogyny on men, based on the simplistic reasoning that they are not women. Such reasoning follows that if a group is being oppressed then it must be a group different to the oppressed that are the oppressors, this line of inquiry  quickly concludes that men are the oppressors. But, in my experience most of the men I know like women, in fact they like women more than women usually do. If you really want to hear a group of people tearing a woman’s soul to shreds then you only have to go into a female dominated work place, for there is nowhere more visceral nor savage. A florid pit of estrogen in which a dominant queen dictates the menstrual cycles of all others and passes judgements on subjects ranging from outfits to hairstyles, with one savage lash of the tongue. Nature requires men to like women, after all it is upon such a truism that our species keeps populating itself. You might say that men often only like women in order to get into their pants, and this would be a reasonable assertion, but I would reply that this is still a more positive feeling than most women show towards each other. And when is there ever absolute gender equality, in lesbian relationships is it not normal for one woman to adopt the more male dominant role? Women are often just as bigger discriminators against women as men. Look at women that have run countries, how many women did they promote to be their advisers? Look at female CEO’s what percentage of their board members are female? There are numerous examples of females discriminating against females, stop laying the blame all at the feet of men just because you don’t have a penis. If we were to live in a Utopian society where women were accepted as equals by men (a world I aspire to), the question remains, would they also be accepted as equals by other women?

We are but Apes, What do you Expect?

The Men for Women campaign reminds me of a clinic on the edge of Bangkok specializing in gender realignment surgery, which is ironic, as are we looking at gender equality, or a metaphorical realignment of the genders? The notion of gender equality in itself appears to me as being discriminatory, as it suggests it is the only cause deserving equality. We should just be striving for equality for everyone, irrespective of race, gender, creed, colour, sexual orientation,age,  physical or mental disability. A just and decent society will provide the same rights for an octogenarian, Asian, lesbian, bipolar, Roman Catholic midget, as it does for the most immoral, whoring, Republican, NRA supporting bum. Ms. Watson talks of political and economic equality, but this is to ignore the blue print upon which men and women are built, that biologically we are different, and to some extent throughout the evolution of our species we have been designed for different tasks. To disregard this biological framework, and believe that we have always lived in a world with iPhones, air conditioning, microwave meals and WiFi is folly. We must accept some basic truths if we are to make any progress in this forum:

1) Men have a penis, and women have, what medical experts call, a ‘vagina’;
2) For nine months after a man has put his penis into a woman’s ‘vagina’ it could result in that woman gestating. To date there has only been one notable exception to this rule, when a woman began gestating sans penis, for further details please refer to a bible;
3) There will never be biological equality, men will always have a penis, and women a vagina. Women will always be expected to shoulder the burden of gestation. But whilst there is this fundamental biological difference, should this translate into an economic or political one?
4) Women will generally always be better st some tasks than men, skills that have been passed down over hundreds of thousand of years, mothering, making a comfortable living space, and conducting 5 conversation simultaneously whilst reading a book.
5) Men will always me better at laying around, drinking beer, farting and hitting things.

To deny these truths is to not accept one another for who we are. Biologically we are not equal, for procreation’s sake that is a good thing, every plug must have its socket, but we must respect our differences not exploit them as being weaknesses.

A society that penalizes women economically on the premise that they may go onto have a child is insane, it goes against the laws of nature. What if women were to all sterilize themselves in, an all be it cutting their nose off to spite their face kind of way, order to demand equal pay? No longer burdened with the indignity of being able to bare children, should they now be paid the same as men? Penalizing women for having children is the brainchild of a society that puts profit before values. Society should be providing stability and encouragement for women to have children, an environment that supports children and families financially, socially and culturally. Unless of course society is targeting those women who are educated, strong minded and go to work, if society can restrict these women from breeding that will polarize the population into hordes of poorly educated families and the rich who they could mindlessly serve. The middle class would soon die out or at the very least reduce itself to such low numbers that they would no longer threaten to expose and fuel the fire of the class divide. Meanwhile the poorly educated peel grapes for the rich and content themselves with daytime television. But, as we all know this scenario could never happen, for it would necessitate a power crazed, and paranoid rich elite obsessed with maintaining the status quo.


Equality at What Price?

I’m all for equality but does equality mean that women can behave like men? A society stripped bare of feminism, a society of women behaving like men is surely nobody’s utopia. Following Ms. Watson’s natter with the UN and the launch of the ”He for She” campaign, nearly every other news item on the internet has concerned itself with gender equality. I was in disbelief when I saw the following news article:


Real equality is when women have the right to be as drunk and stupid as men

The freedom to have fun, make mistakes and participate in some youthful irresponsibility shouldn’t be limited to boys

Gender equality realized

This article by the Guardian’s Jessica Valenti proposes the whole equality debate hinges on women being granted the same rights to get as drunk and behave as  stupid as men. Only once this has been realized will our species truly  have progressed beyond gender stereotypes. If there is one thing the world is crying out for right now it’s more drunk, stupid people. Can’t women appreciate that stupidity is the last bastion of the male, it’s a place where men can retreat to for peace and quiet. A world of drunk, stupid people would result in nothing more than a perpetual Friday night.

Women, if you ever get the gender equality that you do deserve, then I plead with you to use it for something a little more noble than to behave like men. Half the population already behave like men, they’re called men. Tonight I am left in fear that if Ms. Watson and Valenti have thier way, they will create a society with an androgynous population of stupid alcoholics.

Fear and Loathing and Getting Recruited for ISIS – A savage journey to the heart of Jihadist ideology

the few the proud the bearded

Out of a perverse sense of curiosity, out of loyalty to the absurd, in reverence of bad taste,  but mostly just as a result of old fashioned boredom, I have spent much of my weekend trying to apply for membership to Islamic State. I felt a need to put the endless news reports to the test, the media has repeatedly informed us that joining these maniacs should be a relatively straight forward task, and that it could be done online. It was Friday night, I had the time and a sick enough sense of humor to give this thing a shot, so I did.

Less than 5 minutes into my search for employment, I learned that Islamic State had recently produced an expensive and slick English language video designed at recruiting young British Muslims. The video entitled ‘Let’s go Jihad’, which at face value appears a somewhat whimsical title for what should ultimately represent quite a serious life decision. Although disappointed by the name of the video I decided that it would be only reasonable to watch it, after all I had come this far, and damn it I needed to learn more about my potential employer. How else could I be expected to feel comfortable making any long term commitments, because I had questions by jingo. Was there dental cover included in the health plan? What were the hours? Holidays? Pensions? Were they prepared to help with my relocation expenses? The practicalities of Jihad seemed endless, so putting my logistical concerns to one side I settled down and watched watched the following video:

The video opens with what sounds like a deaf man blowing on a piece of tissue paper over a comb. Although these guys clearly demonstrated no appreciation for music, I decided that this was a luxury I could live without, afterall I gave up listening to music sometime back in the 1990’s, (a traumatic incident involving a dwarf, a rabbit and a head full of acid.) Not the most catchy of openings but I was willing to go further. Next I was requested to supplicate myself, while I admit that I haven’t been doing a lot of supplicating recently I didn’t consider it beyond my range. I felt that I was still in with a shot.

The third line, of what could never be described as a catchy tune, aroused my suspicions when it called for the ‘Nasheed to bomb the Kuffar for real’. Some rapid googling and I realized this wasn’t good. They appeared to be calling for any and every non-muslim to be bombed. While my knowledge of the Quran is limited, I find it hard to believe these could have been the words of Muhammad. For one I’m not sure bombing had been adopted as a military tactic back then. It was starting to look like ISIS were not an equal opportunity employer after all, and that this whole muslim, non-muslim thing might cause a problem. If this was the case I had no intention on letting these bastards off the hook that easily, I was still going to apply and then they could turn me down to my face. Anyway I still had to see if it was as easy as the media had said it was.

Now in my life I’ve been both lucky and unlucky enough to have been able to meet some of societies most psychologically unique people, but it was only now that I started to appreciate that ISIS recruits  a rare breed of maniac. People responding positively to ‘Let’s go Jihad’ are beyond my comprehension, most videos that promote things use enticement. I expected beaches, a bevy of beauties in burqas, minarets and mosques. Instead the video uses sheer, raw violence to make its appeal.  Machine gunning men bound in ditches would appear to even the least sane person to be profoundly inappropriate. With that said is it any more immoral than dropping a laser guided bomb on a family who’ve just sat down for dinner? It’s hard to find any morality or sense in the senselessness of war.The content of the video surpasses disturbing and it’s hard to imagine the mind that such a video could appeal to, but what is just as disturbing is the level of professionalism in its production, and the destructive power they appear to have at their disposal.

ISIS happily using the U.S made Humvee.
ISIS are believed to have 52 American made M198 Howitzers capable of firing a shell 20 miles.
ISIS have upto 30 Soviet built T55 tanks, although old they are still active in 50 armies around the world. They also have a smaller number of the newer T72.

I had initially understood ISIS to be a crackpot bunch of terrorist lunatics, with extremist religious views. A group that would die out once their own people had realised that they do not want to live under such a harsh regime. The truth is that ISIS have existed since 2000, they are well supported, well funded and well trained for such an outfit. They are extremely well armed having routed large sections of the Iraqi Army, they have seized great quantities of U.S made weaponry including heavy artillery, as well as Russian made tanks. They far exceed my understanding of a terrorist group. But perhaps their greatest weapon and threat is their appeal to young Muslims around the world. Muslims that have grown up watching western coalitions invade muslim countries, who have watched Israel use excessive force against the Palestinians. Children who have grown up with this as the status quo are perhaps easier to convince that somewhere there is a Jihad out there for them to fight.

Still I needed to put the media’s claims to the test and make contact with someone in charge of recruitment at ISIS, therefore I googled “ISIS Recruitment Form”, and surprisingly I was successful.

Rather cleverly their website poses as being for educational purposes and even supported by the British Council. As a further smoke screen to foil intelligence services you will notice a woman not wearing a burqa. I appreciated their savvy. Regretfully the link to their application form was broken, but they were forward thinking enough to provide the following contact details.


We are always happy to discuss things with potential or returning employees. If you have any questions, please feel free to email our Recruitment team or give us a call.

ISIS Education and Travel
259 Greenwich High Road
London SE10 8NB

So the media were right after all, contacting the recruitment wing of ISIS was a doddle.

As I get older it appears to me that civilization (if that is even the right word to describe it any more) is caught up in a perpetual cycle of violence. Groups of people are forever provoking and responding to provocation, and unless a group of fanatics who uphold the values of common sense take the radical action of not reacting, then I’m afraid this suffering and senseless destruction will be the demise of us all.

Continuing to do what we have been doing will have inevitable negative consequences. A new plan featuring common sense is called for.