The Last Temptation of a Wretched Soul

This evening, I almost had a drink.

It has been 791 days, or 2 years and 2 months, or 113 weeks, since I last had a drink.

790 days ago I couldn’t wake up after having my last drink. 112 weeks 6 days ago I lay unconscious on a hospital bed, physically and mentally broken beyond recognition.

I promised my friends and loved ones I would never drink again. After causing so many people so much worry, I promised them I would never drink again.

This evening, I almost had a drink.

I was with good people, who were having a good time, it wouldn’t cause any harm. All dressed up and letting their hair down for Halloween. Drinking, talking and enjoying one another’s company. I wanted to participate. I had goose bumps and a cold, electric shiver ran through my every nerve and sinew. Like an itch that needs to be scratched, an irresistible temptation to a wretched soul.

This evening, I almost had a drink.

I could just have a drink. This week after all was very stressful at work and everyone is here having fun. It’s Halloween, it’s only once a year, I could just have a drink tonight.

I looked at my twisted body and realized it was the product of an even more twisted mind. I said to myself I can’t ever drink again.

But it would just be this once, and you haven’t drunk for, what is it, 791 days? Once can’t hurt. I really want this drink.

Laying on a hospital bed, unable to move as familiar faces look down upon me. All I can do is smile. Light hurts my head, breathing hurts my body. Kind words of encouragement inspire me to hope.

Talking, laughter, fun, drink, jokes, tricks, stories, alcohol, catharsis. friendship, alcohol, alcohol, alcohol.

Such a stressful week. Have some fun.

This evening I ……………………..